Cardiff family lifestyle, arts and culture blog.


Stop juggling so many balls: How to be selfish AND happy.

I've spent most of my life pleasing others, doing more and more for other people and less for myself and always feeling exhausted and drained from it all. When George and Molly came into the world I devoted all my strength to them, but there are still times when I feel I'm juggling a million balls and at some point they are going to come cascading down, knocking me clean out in the process…

I've had such a reflective month, from personal priorities to 'people pleasing' to figuring out where I fit in the grand scheme of things and one thing I've realised is that I need to sometimes do things for myself, despite the nagging of others or the constant demands of life. So I've put together a little list of things we, as parents, should sometimes do without the feeling of guilt or judgement…

Have some you time.

Last night I ran a bath and it was heaven. I'm not a big bather, I always opt for a shower, but I've fancied a bath for so long so I just did it. In the end the whole family (including the dog!) joined me in the bathroom and it turned out to be relaxing and fun. So do it, run the bath and make yourself a cuppa (or glass of wine) and read a book and enjoy the madness as the kids and dog try to join you whilst your husband looks on with a grin on his face!

Sleep more.

This is aimed at bloggers or those folk who work from home, or even the parents that stay up late just because. Get some more sleep! Firstly, you deserve it and secondly you will feel better and have much more productive mornings!

Say no more often.
I feel like I'm constantly saying yes to things, from events to taking on extra tasks for the blog. I think that's it's more than fair to really weigh up whether the 'thing' in question is worth it, both mentally and physically. If you've had a crazy week, or you're on your period, or you just want to sit and read a book, say no. Don't feel bad fr not entertaining someone or for not working with a company based on workload, you can't do it all!

Take time out from social media.

Social media is great, I do love it most of the time, BUT… you need a break from it now and again. It can be messy and competitive, argumentative and draining. I am determined for my children to see me as a person, not an extension of my phone. Switch it all off for a day and enjoy the silence.

Do what you want to do!

You know the line, 'Build it and thy will come…' right?! Well in our house I've learnt that if I start to bake a cake or felt or read or write or listen to music, the kids will often join me and engage in something I find interesting and in turn they learn along with me. I find it therapeutic to do certain activities, so it's lovely to see them flock to it and join in, plus think about the bonding! #Heaven.

Cut the crap.
Stop holding onto toxic people, things, places.… Let them go. Need I say more?

Open your eyes…

Look at the trees, the sky, the rain and sun and consider what's important to you. In that moment you'll see what truly matters.

Do what feels good for your body.

Eat well but don't resist the occasional slice of cake, drink lots of water, moderate your alcohol consumption, have lots of sex (or kisses if that's your thing…), read books, motivate your mind, go to the cinema, hug everyone you love, play zombie chase games and garden, give your body the fuel it needs to be happy and your mind will follow.

Live in the moment.

I'm so tired of worrying and thinking about the what's and the if's… I want to be present and I'm working on this. I want to remember being a present parent, a present wife and friend. I want to take care of my body so I choose to not think too far ahead, to worry too much. This is totally easier said than done and probably the hardest on the list, but I'm giving it a good go!

Have I missed anything? Probably. I don't see these acts as negatively selfish, they're positively propelling me forward to a cleaner, happier and sunnier life.

Can you add any others to the list?

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